acting God

you can be nominated acting god, so mind what you say.



I have incubated a nasty tooth infection just in time for Xmas. It has proven resistant to amoxicillin, so I had to stop taking it. Dentist not available, doctor doubtful. Neck glands swollen and very painful , can’t even drown my sorrow in my murky green fairy because I am feverish and nauseous as it is. merry Xmas. So I toss and turn, and half asleep half delirious I decide to go with a tooth infection and blood poisoning. It is not choice but what the heck, pharaohs have gone with it. So I do and I have my face off with God Eric would be pleased to know. God is very happy to see me, much happier than I expected ! . So I really let him have it and he laughs and nods in response to my long list of complaints and then, when I conclude by saying that even a stupid fool like me might have had better results he explodes with joy.
. - Ecce homo! He exclaims, finally one who did not come groveling.
I think he is as happy as a god can be and I have another of those taken aback moments that are happening with increased frequency in my old age.. I am nervous as I watch him throw a few of his things in sack and then hear him telling me that I am in charge now. That in fact I am acting God until someone else thinks he can do even better.
- What!!??
- Well that is the way it works. A soon as one stops praying and wants to do something because he firmly believes that he can do better, he gets the chance. I have had mine! He sais swinging his sack over his shoulder and grinning happily. Its all yours now !
- Get back here!
- O no! I have been waiting a long time for this!
- Yeahbut! What am I to do? ,
- Whatever you think you should, you are God now. Ciao! Then I am alone.

- FUCK!

I should not have complained , I should have forgiven Him! I mean, really!..In fact I kind of remember doing it one time or another. Perhaps I didn’t really mean it well enough…
I woke up in a sweat. Got dressed and took off to emergency at four a.m. Xmas morning. That guy up there will have to wait a little longer because right now anything seems better than being top honcho.
I don’t know if this can be of any use to, but if you get the urge to forgive God, make sure you mean it.



MY first decree as acting God

The first thing I did when I got trapped into being God was to get rid of the BIG BANG. I so disliked that flagrantly inane and a displeasingly impetuous concept that it made it worth while for me being stuck with the responsibility of being God..

-BEGONE!

I replaced it with the BIG BLOOM!

Now that’s more like it! Isn’t IT? . Of course I don’t even need to tell you that all I had to do was to change the time frame. Slow it down from a human time frame which made it appear as a tremendous blast to a Godly one, which happened to be my unsolicited privilege. Thus I turned IT into an elegant, musically maestoso unfolding.
However what you may not so easily grasp, is that in doing so I have reinterpreted all things or- being God the prime cause, de facto transmuted all. So, whereas a big bang was perceived as the moment when an infinite amount of energy and matter packed into the tiniest unit of space conceivable (God included) burst forth into chaos and then slowly assumed all kinds of forms in an expanding space/time continuum, with the BIG BLOOM - IT (The present Condition) was created from the simplest and the least possible concept by continuously and incrementally adding intuitive folds .
You may not visualize this directly but reverse engineering the universe using the reductionist method but in a devolving rather than disassembling procedure you will not wind up with piles of junk of smaller and smaller pieces as you go, but you will move to simpler ... simpler and quieter concepts. eventually you will wind down to contemplate the source of IT all in It’s simplest duality. ON/OFF, BE/NOT BE, ZERO/ONE! OR YING-YANG if you like with the element of instability implicitly inherent which like the holy spirit provides the impetus of generating infinite concepts and forms. It turns out then that the Creative force is irreducible ( hence unstable) and thus must express itself outwards continuously becoming.
There goes another sleepless night.
3

As acting God, I will then march kicking asses - Every Sabbath charlatan, starting with my favorites, all the way to the Sick Children’s Hospital . Yeah! As acting God I could do that! I would be known as the Lotus with a thousand kicking boots! The Shullers, ah sweet tearful Swaggart, icky-oint Chopra, Barby doll Pope Benedict and the Dodolai Lama. And I will command them to perform for Me – God, their Lord is love Rah-Rah routine in a ward of suffering and dying children. Alleviate even if a tithe their pain and terror or match the same uplifting effect on this congress as what they weekly achieve with the pampered affluent in the ostentatiously choreographed splendor of their temple stages Or I swear I will make them all dumb and blind just as they should be. Explain to me your Lord why I should not be able to help a child that cannot be helped by anyone else in the world? Explain why I should let even one innocent child suffer! Indeed , you God damned idiots, why should even a mite or a worm die in pain? Goddamn phony bastards! Yet I would be partly faking my Acting God indignation, because though I despise all those who preach, they are not the problem. Dim witted and lazy people are happy to settle for mumbo jumbo theater rather than even think of venturing into intractable and admittedly unproductive territory of metaphysics. 95% of people (according to the movie : “ Contact”) believe in an ineffable, inscrutable, intractable Deity who created this whole mess. 95 PER CENT! Can You believe that? Of course to my way of thinking this impressive statistic should be interpreted as a strong indication that the Deity they believe in cannot exist precisely because they so firmly and almost unanimously believe in it. And in no way, as long as I am Acting God will I allow a world , not even a small world, not even a small principality up on the tip of a hill on a small world, to be unanimously right about anything. The whole goddamn thing would rock and fall somewhere, Sir Gamateus would be out of a job and even God- irrelevant. And that would be that. It is imperative and ultimately the only condition for this Chaos to achieve a spark of purity which might ignite the whole cosmos with a redemptive light that this intolerable situation be maintained if not even exacerbated in order to provoke one! One soul, one mind one sentient living entity, one impatient disgusted being even to burst! So it isn’t that difficult for me to understand (finally) Why I should have been chosen and not a Galahad, Ttristan or someone even purer, Bush maybe… no, Hell No Reagan! But no, It makes sense that the task, the greatest of all quest in fact should fall upon a quixotic bungling fool whose only outstanding quality is not any of the classic noble values but a doggedly GoDamn all attitude that would balk at nothing. Not death , not Hell, Not God!
Sir Gameteus! TATAAA!
That Is why all religions- so far as I know- totally fail to put into text the unexplainable and unacceptable tragedy of a helpless suffering child. Faith thrives only in the fields of omissions as I said. Not one enlightened man, not the compassionate Buddha, not sweet loving Jesus not Christ, the Roman Superman . Not Socrates, not the Tao. No religion or philosophy has ever attempted to deal with a single case of a 5 or 6 year old child being destroyed by cancer! It means that we have found no conventional logic or any other means to deal with it, and that therefore both religion and philosophy have so far no legitimate role to play in man’s quest to fully complement creation! It appears that we must look elsewhere or at the same scene but with carefully averted vision.
Why must there be suffering? Pain! A child’s pain alters the value of time. The cosmos’ grandeur is reduced to blowing irrelevant litter. The Universe recoils in shame! This is not a job for the great tradition, not for the hero, the pure, the saint, the redeemer not even for God. It is the job for the biggest most arrogant, unyielding fearless son of a bitch ever. One that just can't take it anymore... No! One that just will not take it anymore ! ...